nothing new

Life seems to be allmost stable now, things are going in the right way, all things seem to be in place, the new job place is gud and exciting. Hmmm , am relaxing after a very long time---long long time, many years of unclarity. All these years although things were fine but unsettled, unclear, I was not just clear about what i was going to do and what I wanted.
Allthough was doing a job but was not satisfied at all. Was unsure of my own self, about what field I wanted to go in or what I liked. Due to the family pressure there was no question of going abroad as my mother was totallly against it. My dad was also not supportive or should I say much keen in my going abroad. Not only this my mom was very particular that I should stay in jammu only, it was after my long push that she agreed for delhi at least, leave alone the idea of going to banglore or hyderbad where there are better opportunities in IT. It took me at least a year to convince my mom about my going to at least till delhi, as it was near jammu. It was not that my mom was against these places or had anything against them but she wanted me to stay near home. Thank God all those things are over now. Life now finally seems to be smiling. offcourse needless to say that its never perfect. Some things are still missing. Now my mother and father are both happy and settled in their thought and mind. All things are as they should be. Now I can look towards the future with a very positive outlook that is encouraging . Ah ! it would still have been much better had I not messed up a certain thing. I acted like a joker, dull and fool, I still regret it. I dont say that it cant get right, it can and maybe something better is in store but u cant help regretting that why did I lose it in first place. Hey one thing, in some things u dont lose or gain , its not like that, like i mean it was not some property that I missed or would get, nothing like that. It was something soft and dear. I asked not to mess up and ended myself messing !!!! I acted totally like a child and shyed away from taking any responsibility. Chal yaar hota hai magar thoda ajeeb tho lagta hi hai naa.....after all we are all human...Ho sakta hai ki aage yeh mistake bhi thik hoo jayee or muje issa bhi kuch aacha mela aur yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki aisa na hoo....chalo ....But when I look back and think , I laugh at myself, what the damm I was acting like !!!! It was as if I was a small kid---Hey actually the mistake is not mine also, I am too hard on myself, its just that I didnt expect things to turn so quickly, it was like all things are going in your way and suddenly the next day its all over !!! Hey, How many days will I keep regreting it , its no fun crying over the spilt milk. Rather I should keep it as sweet soft memory . Also there is no other wayout .....

But I should have acted more responsibly and taken up the initative at the first time only, should not have shyed away from being responsible.

New year is coming, bringing with it new hopes and certainty, huuunnnn but one thing I will miss, its just not getting out of my mind-----yucckkkk-----yuck!!!!
Things are settled in all departments , leaving one behind.
I have to wake up at 6 in the morning--ummm--its one of the things that is difficult, even more bad is shaving, i dont like it all ----Had it been upto me i would shave once a week that too in a saloon, in college days also I used to shave in a saloon, and all of my friends did the same, we were so engaged in masti and fukragiri that we never found the time to shave----actually we had all the time in the world---just didnt want to do. Me and my gang of lofars, lofars in the way that we didnt know which classes we had to attend or which not---hey have u seen rahana hai tera dil mein, something similar to the madhvan group---bunking classes ---taking unnecessary brawls , allthough I was never he one to initiate , but had to get involved, after all we all were under vow :-). The college days passed like this, all those years, going with boys and making ruckus all arround.....hostel days were full of fun and pranks---every second day we were out of the hostel---the notice on notice board read"" all these boys have been detained from entering hostel for engaging in fights with ___ and ____. The college days full of freedom, without any responsibility...... Dad used to tell me hey boy dont do this ---dont do that ,,blah balh blah...
Its not that we were bad boys but rather away from the mainstream. We didnot follow college rules and regulations...
Now things have changed totally, life is different and more realistic, the fantasy that I lived in is over. It seems that now I am grown up finally m :-). Hey it somewhat strange to say that I am grown up , at this age, but the correct thing to say would be I never actually got the time, there was always some tension about something or the other. After passing out of college, its now that things are settled......Now I can think after the other things...
Cheers !! Happy New Year, let this new year bring lots of happiness and prosperity to all of us.

5-6 blessed days

I saw a cool flash of light in the form of a girl, she has eyes like a deep ocean, she lives in her own world away from the show of the world , not that she is a reclusive. Didnt know much about her but wanted to know ,as much I could. Such was my attraction for her that I could not even come closer to her. I watched her from distance. Some how I got to exchange ideas and views with her.For say 5-6 days and intensely for last 3 days. Well before I could express anything clearly she seems to have got lost or should I saw this is my fear. But in no way I want this to come true. At least we should be in talking terms.In her presence I underestimate her than she actually deserves.Fault is not also mine because of lack of clarity or should I saw I take a lot of time, I understand things but I respond like a person who doesnt understand anything.I just liked to tease her this way. But this should not cost me dearly.This I only knon when she goes. I wait for her like anything.


I cant even match her half way in writing blogs and posts. I came to writing posts and blogs only because of her. The last thing she said "Ab patani kab milenga" well this sentence is driving me crazy. .........

first blog

hey this is my first blog, trying just to start something..well what will i write in my first blog....hmm..but still let me write anything...i will learn with time...i had heard about blogging but never had been into it myself till i saw a friends blog...when i saw it ..i too wanted to be in it...enough for today....okay...i think its pretty enough...bye ...c ya..